a bit of sweet
what a bummer that i should be flying back to melbourne today, so long jakarta. you’ve been good to me. through many tears i shed and laughter i enjoy, i’m in love with you, my traffic city
i am thrilled, i am excited, i am driven into madness. i don’t know what’s it called, i’m not sure if it’s love, but for me, i know it ain’t something simple. it’s complex. like the structure of your brain, like the idea of making an aeroplane, it’s so complicated you can’t even imagine. how would you explain this : while you are looking at the mirror when you are alone, you wish you could see his reflection. when you are sitting on a bench under a tree, you don’t wish for anything but him to be next to you so you can lean on him. that’s silly, one kind of stupidity, but yea, i name it irrational!
i’m a type of person who gets bored easily, no offense but that’s the truth. i am incapable of making empty promises. if i were to promise something i couldn’t do, that’s because i was under pressure and i was forced to. but now, i know somehow that i won’t get bored easily. if you could get my heart, i’m not easy to please. but you are here now, standing tall next to me, be there for me.
you are like water to my thirst, smile to my face, food to my hunger, companion to my loneliness, the light of my dark. there you smile to me and say, “you look so beautiful today”. but the thing is, one sweet little compliment boosts my mood, cause i know you mean it and you say it every single day. like a book, chapter by chapter, page by page we write our story. started with a blank page, i started the first sentence, and it will be : “IT STARTED WITH A KISS”
here i am writing this note just for you, because i know i’m leaving for melbourne in less than 20 hours. 4 months of torture in order to be happy together forever. i feel like inventing a time machine so i can be 4 months ahead! there i’m gonna be with you 24/7 if we want to.
i’m a free woman. mature enough to decide whatever i want to do. cause i got my limitation and i got my norm in my head. while sometimes people just too judgmental to be around me, you are there, trusting and believing me with all of your heart. and i trust you like i trust myself. cause i see the sincerity through your eyes, through your behavior when you’re around me. i just can’t stop believing that you’re serious with me.
on top of that, i just want to say, this guy captivated my attention from the first time we met. though it was not just a kiss, but a kiss with scandals, we made it through until today. even though those filthy nasty shit-talkers just won’t stop, he braces himself and hold me tight so i won’t get hurt. he protects me like a soldier. he’s tough, he’s rational and logical. but when he’s around me, he let go of that barrier to show him his love to me.
though it was one big rock for me, cause at the first few weeks, i couldn’t believe him, but we overcome the clutters of our relationship. he asked me to be his girlfriend on 11.2.11, and i said yes with no hesitation. this has never happened to me, so i don’t know why, i got this hunch that our relation will long last.
world, i’m begging you to read this part, cause i’m proud to say, “I AM IN LOVE WITH BARRY SUSANTO”
i made it to the first page of “The Cross to Bear” issue :